In the past, Carol and I planned, organized, and facilitated weekend workshops for couples. The expectation was to have 15 couples together for an enlightening learning experience, as well as for them to have a celebration of the work they were doing in their relationships.
I found it extremely challenging to market these to capacity. Occasionally, we had a full house. Usually, it was far less than my expectation. Regardless of the reasons for lack of sales, I was attached to the outcome and I felt like a failure.
Failure is an event; not a person
At our semi-annual retreat, one of our goals was to provide 4 Relationship Recharge Get-away Retreats each month. I’ve not been able to make that happen. Regardless of the reasons, I was attached to the outcome and I felt like a failure.
Failure is an event; not a person
I set goals to complete some renovations in our own home and several rental properties. Summer is now gone and although I got some of it done, I was attached to the outcome and I felt like a failure.
Failure is an event; not a person
We have been working with several dear friends and colleagues to host a day-long event. It was designed for business leaders to focus on accountability and creating high-trust cultures. Despite a ton of hard work by all of us, we decided to cancel the event due to a lack of registrations. I was attached to the outcome and I felt like a failure.
Failure is an event; not a person
What’s the lesson that is applicable for me, and maybe you?
I was pondering this in my meditation practice this morning. My eyes shot open with this thought that ran through my mind.
Failure is an event; not a person
Living accountably means ownership. Ownership of my thoughts, words, actions, feelings, and results. I “get” this, and consciously strive to live this way. I believe I do well with accountability.
However, accountability does not mean self-identification with the result.
The Lesson:
I am a loving, kind, resourceful, respectful human being. The experiences I create through my thoughts, words, and action are simply that – experiences. I own them, but they are not me. Yes, I make mistakes, but they are not me. I can learn from, and correct my mistakes, but they do not change who I am.
Guess what? It is exactly the same for you.
I invite you to find a quiet place to ponder who you are – as a human being. I invite you to make a list of your amazing and positive talents, skills, and attributes – as an incredibly capable and resourceful human being. If you have a thought such as “I’m not a …”, reframe that to a positive of “I am a …”.
If you’re up to the challenge, every time you have a “failure” thought about yourself, pull out that list and read the words you’ve written out loud .
Failure is an event; not a person
Uncomfortable? Maybe. Impactful? Absolutely.
Please send me a note. I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences with this.
