Problems in relationships and life? We all have them, and they can seem so complicated and frustrating. Usually the solution is right in front of our nose but… we refuse to see it. It usually boils down to this, “Have you checked your grounding?”
Each spring we buy yearling steers to harvest our grass and convert it into natural grass-fed beef for customers. Want some? Please call me. (That might be a shameless plug, but what the heck?)
We use electric fences to keep the animals here – one or two smooth wires with a high-voltage electric pulse. It keeps the domestic animals in, and allows easy and safe migration of elk, deer, and moose that travel back and forth through our property – an easy hop and they are on their way.
The electric fence? Here’s how it works.
Mr. Bovine walks to the fence. With four bare feet planted firmly into damp soil, curious Mr. Bovine puts his wet nose against the electrically-charged wire. Guess what? Zappo!!
That may sound cruel, but it’s not so bad. I touch the wire to test it. I don’t like to do it because it’s … shocking, and so I respect the fence. For Mr. Bovine, it works the same way.
The secret to success
There must be a circular flow of electricity from the fencing unit, into the steel wire, through the switch (2- or 4-legged critter) into the ground, and back to the fencing unit through a grounding rod – a simple electric circuit.
But it wasn’t working. I carefully examined every inch of the wire, checked for broken insulators on the posts, and took apart and cleaned every connection. I isolated every paddock to check for continuity. I dismantled the fencing unit, inspected and checked every coil, module, and joint. Still no snapola.
Carol said, “Have you checked your grounding?” She has an amazing way of approaching the most difficult problem and seeing the simple solution. But, rather than listening to her, I argued that the steel rod in the ground had always worked before, so it should still work now. Finally in frustration, I pulled the ground rod to find it totally coated with a thick layer of rust and guck. With a few minutes of hammering and grinding, the rod was clean. Once driven back into the soil and the wires reconnected, the fence was snapping again, just like new.
Have you checked your grounding? Works the same with most problems in life.
Have you had one of those days where there is one problem after another, distractions and interruptions, and not nearly enough time? Do you find the deeper you look into the problems the more complex they seem? Traffic, technology, deadlines, finances, commitments, assumptions, and expectations. At the core, the problems are usually in your relationship with your life-partner, kids, or colleagues? If you’re like me, you feel frustrated, ticked off, and even angry, which seems to make it worse.
Have you checked your grounding? The secret to success
To simplify the circuit, here are the components:
- what do you want?
- what’s in your control?
- what are you going to do now?
To ensure continuity so it works, here are baby steps to check your grounding daily:
1. Set your alarm 10 – 15 minutes earlier than your “normal”.
2. When the alarm sounds, sit up in bed, in a chair, or on the floor. This will keep you from going back to sleep.
3. Pre-meditate your day. Think about what you appreciate in your life, such as:
- people and relationships – life-partner, children, parents, friends, colleagues…
- material items – home, food, clothing, vehicles…
- where you live – location, community, environment, birds, trees, grass…
- your life roles – spouse/partner, parent, profession, involvement in community…
- your abilities, talents, and skills – keep it positive
- your core purpose – what allows you to feel and experience happiness, joy, abundance, success
4. Think about 2 or 3 priorities to accomplish today – important tasks you know you can handle and are totally in your control. That says, “in your control.” If accomplishment depends on what someone else says or does, the weather, or the markets, adjust your focus to things you control and will commit to.
5. Determine and commit to your first step. What are you going to do now? Then get at it.
As your day unfolds, be consciously aware of how you feel. Use your feelings as your key performance indicators. If you’re not feeling the way you want to feel based upon your grounding, take a slow deep breath and think, say, or do something that will help you to move toward that desired feeling.
Have you checked your grounding?
Like my fence, life may not seem to work at times. When that happens, I invite you to get clear about what you want, what’s in your control, and what you can do now.